Saturday, December 29, 2007

The San Francisco Zoo: Run by Satan's Zookeepers?

As usual, I headed to Nebraska for the holidays, and when I got to my parents' house, one of the first things they asked me was if I'd heard about the tiger that killed somebody in San Francisco. Er, what? Well, all I had to do to find out about it was turn on the TV, since the story dominated newscasts all through the holiday, until the assassination of Benazir Bhutto knocked it off the screens. While the thought of being attacked and killed by an escaped tiger at your local zoo is horrifying enough, the way the zoo handled things makes me wonder if the place is being run by a satan-worshipping cabal of sadistic freaks, secretly presided over by Dick Cheney, who's writing all their public statements.

First of all, check this out: zoo employees initially told police that the reports of an escaped tiger that had come in to the 911 center were the "ravings of a mentally unstable person" according to the Chronicle. When fire crews and police arrived, the zoo was on "emergency lockdown" and employees prevented them from going inside. Now, wouldn't you think that police and fire crews would be exempt from an emergency lockdown, and that in fact, you might actually want them to get involved with the emergency? Zoo officials apparently panicked during the crisis, telling police that up to four tigers had escaped, until somebody thought to count the ones still in the cages.

In the immediate aftermath of the tragedy, of course, everyone is demanding to know how a tiger could have escaped, and zoo officials are insisting the tiger's enclosure is surrounded by a 20-foot-wide moat and 20-foot-high walls; accusations that the victims "taunted" the tiger or that foul play was involved started to hit the press. Word leaked of a shoe and/or blood found inside the tiger's enclosure, like that was proof the victims were somehow responsible. Then came this quote from zoo director Manuel Mollinedo that absolutely blew my mind:
"Somebody created a situation that really agitated her and gave her some sort of a method to break out," Mollinedo said. "There is no possible way the cat could have made it out of there in a single leap. I would surmise that there was help. "A couple of feet dangling over the edge could possibly have done it." Sources said pinecones and sticks that were found in the moat might have been thrown at the animal. Those items could not have landed in the grotto naturally, they said.

Let me get this straight: you're saying the victims lifted themselves up over the wall, dangled their feet towards the tiger, who then was able to jump up and grab those legs, since the wall had been perfectly calibrated as being only a foot or two beyond the reach of the animal's leap; then, using superhuman strength, the victims were able to pull the leg-dangling taunter and the attached tiger back over the wall, so the tiger could run free? Is this guy for real? And yeah, sticks and pinecones, there is no way those could ever be found in a zoo exhibit. Besides, don't you know tigers use those sticks to build exit ramps from their cages?

Well, if it did build a ramp, it didn't have far to go: now we have reports that the tiger enclosure's wall was only a little over 12 feet high, which is below national standards. Whoops. Police chief Heather Fong says that no shoe or blood was found inside the enclosure. Oh, sorry. An employee of a photo booth at the zoo said he couldn't believe anyone would taunt the tigers, saying "It's pitch black around here by 5 p.m... I would have been scared to be anywhere near that cage the way they're describing it."

Anyone who knows San Francisco knows that the area of town by the zoo is kind of a "land of the lost." It's perennially fog-bound and cold, and salty air from the nearby ocean seems to have sucked the color and life out of the surrounding buildings. It's where the last, supremely creepy Doggie Diner was, and the ever-present eucalyptus trees give the air a sickly sweet, moldy smell. Smack dab in the middle of this area is the zoo, and I've never been there: it gives off a vibe of being the black hole of misery in the center of this galaxy that time forgot. The dysfunction--and, really, sheer evil--of zoo officials in this situation seems to confirm all these images, like the employees are calcified zombies, barely aware of how to deal with the outside world. Zoos in general are kind of fucked up, and putting a bunch of tropical animals in the middle of this freezing, miserable, gray area seems completely insane, an idea straight out of the 1800s, when animals were treated like objects for our amusement.

Ultimately, whether or not there was any "taunting" of an animal at the zoo is completely beside the point: animals shouldn't be able to escape. Teenage rowdiness does not condemn you to a horrible death at the hands of a tiger. Zoo officials' response and statements implying otherwise are shameful.

I'll say it: shut down the San Francisco Zoo.

25 comments:

Alexandra said...

Hi! My name is Alex and I work for a news organization. I was wondering if you ever worked at the zoo? Please call me at 818-840-3459 when you can.
Thank you,
Alex

Anonymous said...

Hi !.
You re, I guess , probably curious to know how one can make real money .
There is no initial capital needed You may begin to get income with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you thought of all the time
The firm represents an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

It is based in Panama with structures everywhere: In USA, Canada, Cyprus.
Do you want to become a happy investor?
That`s your choice That`s what you really need!

I feel good, I started to take up income with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. If it gets down to choose a proper companion utilizes your savings in a right way - that`s AimTrust!.
I make 2G daily, and my first investment was 500 dollars only!
It`s easy to get involved , just click this link http://ceqaxowov.easyfreehosting.com/samojoxy.html
and lucky you`re! Let`s take this option together to get rid of nastiness of the life

Anonymous said...

Hello !.
You re, I guess , probably curious to know how one can make real money .
There is no initial capital needed You may start earning with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you haven`t ever dreamt of such a chance to become rich
The firm represents an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

Its head office is in Panama with structures around the world.
Do you want to become an affluent person?
That`s your chance That`s what you really need!

I feel good, I started to take up real money with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. It`s all about how to select a proper partner utilizes your money in a right way - that`s the AimTrust!.
I take now up to 2G every day, and my first deposit was 1 grand only!
It`s easy to join , just click this link http://upicowyto.kogaryu.com/samojoxy.html
and lucky you`re! Let`s take our chance together to feel the smell of real money

Anonymous said...

Hello !.
might , perhaps curious to know how one can manage to receive high yields .
There is no need to invest much at first. You may start to receive yields with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you need
The company incorporates an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

It is based in Panama with structures around the world.
Do you want to become an affluent person?
That`s your chance That`s what you wish in the long run!

I`m happy and lucky, I started to take up income with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. It`s all about how to select a correct companion who uses your money in a right way - that`s the AimTrust!.
I take now up to 2G every day, and my first investment was 500 dollars only!
It`s easy to start , just click this link http://utinicomun.freewebportal.com/cyguzesy.html
and go! Let`s take this option together to feel the smell of real money

Anonymous said...

Good day !.
You re, I guess , probably curious to know how one can collect a huge starting capital .
There is no need to invest much at first. You may commense to get income with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you haven`t ever dreamt of such a chance to become rich
AimTrust represents an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

Its head office is in Panama with affiliates around the world.
Do you want to become really rich in short time?
That`s your choice That`s what you wish in the long run!

I`m happy and lucky, I began to take up income with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. It`s all about how to choose a proper partner who uses your savings in a right way - that`s it!.
I earn US$2,000 per day, and my first deposit was 1 grand only!
It`s easy to join , just click this link http://juvoninocy.dreamstation.com/ewybysi.html
and go! Let`s take our chance together to get rid of nastiness of the life

Anonymous said...

Good day, sun shines!
There have were times of troubles when I felt unhappy missing knowledge about opportunities of getting high yields on investments. I was a dump and downright pessimistic person.
I have never imagined that there weren't any need in large initial investment.
Now, I'm happy and lucky , I started to get real money.
It's all about how to select a proper partner who uses your money in a right way - that is incorporate it in real business, parts and divides the profit with me.

You may get interested, if there are such firms? I'm obliged to tell the truth, YES, there are. Please get to know about one of them:
http://theinvestblog.com [url=http://theinvestblog.com]Online Investment Blog[/url]

Anonymous said...

tired of comments like "Is there a Spanish-speaking guide? " or buy antibiotics online. Then write to me at icq 75949683256...

Anonymous said...

Good day, sun shines!
There have were times of hardship when I didn't know about opportunities of getting high yields on investments. I was a dump and downright stupid person.
I have never imagined that there weren't any need in large starting capital.
Now, I feel good, I started to get real income.
It's all about how to choose a correct partner who utilizes your funds in a right way - that is incorporate it in real business, and shares the profit with me.

You may get interested, if there are such firms? I have to answer the truth, YES, there are. Please get to know about one of them:
http://theinvestblog.com [url=http://theinvestblog.com]Online Investment Blog[/url]

Anonymous said...

Really?

Anonymous said...

Perhaps…
---------------------------------------------------------
Signature:buy levitra professional online uhv

Anonymous said...

You identify, people each time manufacture comments when anything is predicted to come to pass in 2012, like “fairly that is if the world is still here.” You do realize that the Mayans predict the humanity will finish on Dec. 21 (or 23rd)? So in all good chance if anything is affluent to happen in 2012 there is solitary the slimmest conceivability that the everybody will have ended first it happens.
[url=http://2012earth.net/world_schedule.html
]apocalypse 2012
[/url] - some truth about 2012

Anonymous said...

I am ever so sorry!
---------------------------------------------------------
Signature:lipitor without prescription ebjxx
cheap lexapro mnhph

Anonymous said...

Glad to materialize here. Good day or night everybody!

Let me introduce myself,
friends call me Peter.
Generally I’m a venturesome analyst. all my life I’m carried away by online-casino and poker.
Not long time ago I started my own blog, where I describe my virtual adventures.
Probably, it will be interesting for you to read my travel notes and reports about winnings and losses on this way.
Please visit my web page . http://allbestcasino.com I’ll be interested on your opinion..

Anonymous said...

The effects are gradual and the result will vary for each user.(vimax pills) However, further review show that most users experience benefits within the first week. In the first month you can expect erections that stay longer than usual and your penile may even start to become wider. penis enlargement pills - http://www.cucumaerot.com

Anonymous said...

[URL=http://www.mypinoy.com/profiles/blogs/buy-lioresal-baclofen-baclon][IMG]http://medshops.info/pharm.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
Bonus pill every order!
Good prices & high quality


cheap kemstro drugs
order kemstro cocaine
order kemstro pills
order kemstro weed
order kemstro alcohol
order kemstro heroin
order baclofeno amyotrophic lateral sclerosis spastic diplegia
order baclofeno amyotrophic lateral sclerosis trigeminal neuralgia
order baclofeno amyotrophic lateral sclerosis muscle relaxant
order baclofeno amyotrophic lateral sclerosis gehrig%27s
order baclofeno amyotrophic lateral sclerosis tratamiento
buy baclofeno amyotrophic lateral sclerosis
purchase baclofeno amyotrophic lateral sclerosis
cheap baclofeno amyotrophic lateral sclerosis
order baclofen amyotrophic lateral sclerosis
order baclofeno trigeminal neuralgia neuropathic pain
order baclofeno trigeminal neuralgia j neurol neurosurg psychiatry
order baclofeno trigeminal neuralgia tic douloureux
order baclofeno trigeminal neuralgia gamma aminobutyric acid
[URL=http://www.mypinoy.com/profiles/blogs/buy-lioresal-baclofen-baclon]order baclofene[/URL]
[URL=http://www.mypinoy.com/profiles/blogs/buy-lioresal-baclofen-baclon]Order Baclon generic[/URL]

Anonymous said...

They are becoming the enhancement option of choice for many men for several reasons. vimax pills is the best penis enlargement pills on the market today.more info visit http://www.male-sexual.com/vimax-pills.html
- http://www.pillspenisproducts.com

Anonymous said...

xqc, nbvov av gjwuwexd c uxdcs.
mjoh wrbjbclh y oc a!
vuu free tube porn
, lbgu wu om b nzkl p.
kxcfsm rfajpo efhe u gbbw. ubg, simpsons xxx
, iylr z cpazkbey y ljgixv vm oqcl gvo.

szg zh tzw.

Free Poker Money said...

The beauty of this The San Francisco Zoo: Run by Satan's Zookeepers? website online is amazed. I like your blog.
--------------------------
Link to my site: No Deposit Poker Bonuses for Poker rooms.

Anonymous said...

check this link, [URL=http://e--store.com/]outlet gucci[/URL] to take huge discount SWWHYCgO [URL=http://e--store.com/ ] http://e--store.com/ [/URL]

Anonymous said...

purchase IHoZOxwp [URL=http://www.hermes-replica.com/]hermes outlet[/URL] with confident TZLhCVyU [URL=http://www.hermes-replica.com/ ] http://www.hermes-replica.com/ [/URL]

Anonymous said...

buy best fCpXLZjV [URL=http://www.replica-handbags2013.com/]replica bags[/URL] to your friends KXjPyIvx [URL=http://www.replica-handbags2013.com/ ] http://www.replica-handbags2013.com/ [/URL]

Anonymous said...

http://site.ru - [url=http://site.ru]site[/url] site
site

Anonymous said...

top [url=http://www.001casino.com/]001casino.com[/url] check the latest [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com/]realcazinoz.com[/url] free no store hand-out at the best [url=http://www.baywatchcasino.com/]casino online
[/url].

Anonymous said...

look at CWPpFgqs [URL=http://www.burberry-outlet-onlineshop.weebly.com/]burberry outlet[/URL] to take huge discount uIVfgmvu [URL=http://www.burberry-outlet-onlineshop.weebly.com/ ] http://www.burberry-outlet-onlineshop.weebly.com/ [/URL]

Anonymous said...

buy a juobSfUI [URL=http://www.spyderjackets--outlet.weebly.com/]womens spyder jackets[/URL] , just clicks away FsacPrNr [URL=http://www.spyderjackets--outlet.weebly.com/ ] http://www.spyderjackets--outlet.weebly.com/ [/URL]