Thursday, October 9, 2008

Oh, Blue Angels, Please Crash Down Upon South of Market and Release Me From This Mortal Coil, You Sweet Angels of Death



Hey everybody, it's Fleet Week time again, and in addition to drunk, horny sailors, you know what that means: Blue Angels! As I type this, five of these blue-and-yellow aeroplanes just went right the fuck over my street, with that terrifying noise that starts out up in the high registers, a hiss of impending doom, then suddenly, massively deepening into a gigantic, thunderous rush, becoming louder than you think it's possible for a sound to be, and then when you think it's as loud as it's going to get, it gets louder, and all the car alarms in the neighborhood go off.



Okay, okay, sure, fast airplanes are neat, and I get giddy like a little schoolboy watching them zoom around in bonkers formations, wing tips inches from touching. But the whole thing strikes me as completely, utterly insane. First question: doesn't anybody in this town have any work to do? Like, say, some of us, who maybe have work to do that has to do with, uh, audio?!? So, sorry, clients, all your shit is going to be like 5 days late since I can't hear a goddamn thing.



Second, perhaps more important question: has it occured to anyone that these daredevil flyboys, performing intricate maneuvers in their fuel-filled super-jets, are doing so over the most densely-populated area west of the Mississippi? And if one of them was to, say, get a little distracted for a split second while buzzing the Bank of America Building and plow into North Beach, they're likely to cause death and carnage on a scale that the human mind can barely comprehend?


Wow, honey, North Beach coffee is so tasty. Wait, what's that noise? And, kablooey.

Not to mention the jingoistic, military symbolism of the whole thing. All of this seems a bit crazy for liberal San Francisco, right? Well, the good old Board of Supes has tried and failed to get in the way of this juggernaut of military showmanship and daredevilry, thinking that perhaps they could appeal to the Bay Area's senses of, you know, peace and love and all that. But they failed, as all efforts to stop the Blue Angels and their vertigo-inducing maneuvers over our city, and I think I know why: it turns out there's something stronger even than our lovey-dovey liberalism here in San Francisco, and that's our longing for death.



Not only does the Bay Area have a rather high suicide rate, the Golden Gate Bridge presents an almost irresistible opportunity for the morbidly, er, morbid, and is often cited as "the most popular place to commit suicide in the world," with someone jumping to their death about once every two weeks.



Whether it's the city's reputation as a glowing haven for the unconventional drawing people who are intrinsically more likely to off themselves, or it's something about the dreary fog and insanely high cost of living, San Franciscans really just want to call it quits. But of course, everybody knows we're all supposed to be life-loving liberals in a place that's held up as an example of how to live for the rest of this trashy, red-state nation, so there's no way we can actually say that. Instead, our death wish spurts out in other, random ways, like say the way we drive, and also the invitation to our military to do some crazy dangerous shit right over our heads. Well, Blue Angels, I for one openly salute your death-defying ways, and invite you to aim right for South of Market, because not only would your crashing explosively into my pad save me from enduring more of this soul-crushing Curb Your Enthusiasm episode that's masquerading as my life, it would also be really hilarious: Party Ben, killed by a falling angel. Hold on while I go paint a target on my roof.

48 comments:

Anonymous said...

I wish not agree on it. I assume nice post. Specially the designation attracted me to study the intact story.

Anonymous said...

Good fill someone in on and this fill someone in on helped me alot in my college assignement. Thanks you on your information.

Anonymous said...

[url=http://seghan.ru/go.php?sid=35][img]http://i066.radikal.ru/1001/38/f22daff34e6d.jpg[/img][/url]












[url=http://cauvzah.weinend.de/]order seneca cigarettes [/url]
buying cigarettes online from europe legal to buy cigarettes online buy pop up cigarette case
[url=http://powjxun.wieder-mal.de/sitemap.html]fake cigarettes to buy [/url]
oval cigarettes buy illinois taxes and buying cigarettes online buy discount cigarettes com
[url=http://qzexaua.flackert.de/sitemap.html]buying cigarettes over internet [/url]
order cigarettes direct sites to buy cigarettes where to buy cigarettes for cheap
[url=http://botziho.485.at/]buy bidi cigarettes [/url]
buy cigarettes credit card buy cigarettes wholesale europe cigarette lighter splitter best buy
[url=http://botziho.485.at/sitemap.html]buy cigarettes in new hampshire [/url]
buy cigarettes wholesale uk where to buy online cigarettes buying cigarettes in barcelona
[url=http://qzexaua.flackert.de/sitemap.html]cost of buying cigarettes [/url]
buy cigarette overnight shipping where to buy cigarettes cheap can you order cigarettes online
[url=http://powjxun.wieder-mal.de/sitemap.html]to buy marlboro cigarettes [/url]
cheap money order clove cigarettes buy cheap cigarettes online uk age to buy cigaretts in
[url=http://tioozua.connection24.de/sitemap.html]buy richmond cigarettes [/url]
where to buy canadian cigarettes buy cheap 100s menthol cigarettes anyone buy cigarettes online
[url=http://botziho.485.at/]buy eu cigarettes [/url]
buy barclay 100 cigarettes buy cigarettes online in usa buy reservation cigarettes online
[url=http://deuaexj.naheliegend.de/sitemap.html]buy ultra buy premier cigarettes online [/url]
be to buy a cigarette buy cigarettes in michigan buy dreams cigarettes

Anonymous said...

Nice post and this post helped me alot in my college assignement. Thanks you on your information.

Anonymous said...

You have to express more your opinion to attract more readers, because just a video or plain text without any personal approach is not that valuable. But it is just form my point of view

Anonymous said...

i very adore your own posting type, very exciting,
don't quit and keep writing simply because it simply well worth to follow it.
excited to read additional of your own web content, goodbye!

generic propecia said...

Hello people want to express my satisfaction with this blog very creative and I really like the views of the focus very good indeed Thank you for the helpful information. I hope you keep up the good work on making your blog a success!

Dean said...

greetings to all.
I would first like to thank the writers of this blog by sharing information, a few years ago I read a book called costa rica investment in this book deal with questions like this one.

niz said...

Hello .. firstly I would like to send greetings to all readers. After this, I recognize the content so interesting about this article. For me personally I liked all the information. I would like to know of cases like this more often. In my personal experience I might mention a book called Generic Viagra in this book that I mentioned have very interesting topics, and also you have much to do with the main theme of this article.

Anonymous said...

Nice dispatch and this enter helped me alot in my college assignement. Gratefulness you for your information.

Anonymous said...

Wow... this blog is so popular. I just wanted to know how do you monetize it? Can you give me a few advices? For example, I use http://www.bigextracash.com/aft/2e7bfeb6.html

I'm earning about $1500 per month at he moment. What will you recommend?

Viagra said...

There are too many places that we can go for having fun, but we must have money and keep money safe.

viagra online said...

I know exactly what you mean, it is a cool show, but for some it can be too loud, and for some people with hearth condition, it can be kind of bad.

Viagra Online said...

I had a friend who use to practice those stunts, because he received a training to flying those planes, I feel so proud. actually he invited me to some of his shows.

Joye 510 said...

The Bic lighter is a good reliable igniter in a no wind situation but completely useless in wind.

Mobile Application said...

My friend recommended to this blog.... you have some awesome articles shear. keep it up the great work

android application | android web application

Anonymous said...

You wrote a very interesting article. And I agree with you. hair loss Read a useful article about tramadol tramadol

Anonymous said...

buy xanax buy xanax online insurance - xanax overdose can kill you

Anonymous said...

I like the valuable information you provide in your articles.
I will bookmark your blog and check again here frequently.
I'm quite sure I will learn many new stuff right here! Best of luck for the next!
Also see my website - buy cigarettes online canada

Anonymous said...

Good day! This post couldn't be written any better! Reading this post reminds me of my old room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this write-up to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thank you for sharing!
Also visit my blog post ; Work from home jobs

Anonymous said...

There's definately a lot to know about this topic. I love all the points you have made.
My web site - clean my pc

Anonymous said...

Great article. I'm experiencing many of these issues as well..
Feel free to visit my web blog :: free iphone

Anonymous said...

Nice post. I learn something new and challenging on websites I stumbleupon
every day. It will always be interesting to read articles from other writers and
practice something from other sites.
Also visit my homepage : old Holborn

Anonymous said...

Hi! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist with SEO?
I'm trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I'm not seeing very good gains.
If you know of any please share. Thanks!
Also visit my weblog :: piano lessons

Anonymous said...

Thanks for some other wonderful post. The place else could anybody
get that kind of info in such an ideal means of writing?
I have a presentation next week, and I am on the search for such
info.
Here is my website erinmore mixture

Anonymous said...

Yesterday, while I was at work, my cousin stole my iphone and tested
to see if it can survive a 40 foot drop, just so she can
be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now destroyed and she has 83 views.
I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone!
Feel free to visit my site borkum riff tobacco

Anonymous said...

Your style is very unique in comparison to other people I've read stuff from. Many thanks for posting when you have the opportunity, Guess I'll just
book mark this blog.
Feel free to visit my site - amphora tobacco

Anonymous said...

I am in fact grateful to the owner of this website who has
shared this wonderful article at at this place.
Feel free to visit my site - lägenheter till salu i Antalya

Anonymous said...

It's a shame you don't have a donate button! I'd most certainly donate to this excellent blog! I guess for now i'll settle for book-marking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account.
I look forward to new updates and will talk about this website with my Facebook group.
Talk soon!
Feel free to surf my weblog immobilienalanya.net

Anonymous said...

I'm extremely inspired along with your writing talents and also with the format in your weblog. Is that this a paid topic or did you customize it your self? Either way stay up the nice quality writing, it's uncommon to look a great weblog like this one these days.
.
Here is my web-site : Villa Alanyasta

Anonymous said...

I got this web site from my friend who shared with me about this web page
and at the moment this time I am browsing this site and reading very informative articles here.
my page > osta asunto Antalyasta

Anonymous said...

Do you mind if I quote a couple of your posts as long as
I provide credit and sources back to your website? My blog site is in the very same niche
as yours and my users would definitely benefit from some of
the information you provide here. Please let me know if this
okay with you. Appreciate it!
Feel free to surf my web blog ... Antalya property

Anonymous said...

For hottest news you have to go to see internet and on
the web I found this website as a most excellent web site for most recent updates.
Here is my web-site ... immobilien kaufen Antalya

Anonymous said...

I am now not positive the place you are getting your information, however great
topic. I must spend some time finding out more or understanding
more. Thanks for magnificent information I was on the lookout for this information for my
mission.
Feel free to visit my web blog :: Bolig i Antalya

Anonymous said...

Wow, that's what I was looking for, what a data! present here at this blog, thanks admin of this site.
Feel free to visit my blog lägenheter till salu i oba alanya

Anonymous said...

Hi! I could have sworn I've been to this website before but after reading through some of the post I realized it's new to me.
Anyhow, I'm definitely delighted I found it and I'll be
book-marking and checking back often!
Feel free to visit my web blog diablo 3 wizard guide

Anonymous said...

I'm gone to inform my little brother, that he should also pay a visit this web site on regular basis to get updated from newest news.
Feel free to visit my web site van nelle tabak

Anonymous said...

My family all the time say that I am wasting my time here at
web, however I know I am getting experience every day
by reading thes good posts.
Also visit my web page best money making opportunities

Anonymous said...

[url=http://loveepicentre.com/map.php][img]http://loveepicentre.com/uploades/photos/1.jpg[/img][/url]
fender pro junior dating [url=http://loveepicentre.com/]free bbw dating site[/url] internet dating sites for married people
lafayette indiana dating scene [url=http://loveepicentre.com/taketour.php]christian dating love seek[/url] gay old man dating
julian lennon dating petra nemcova [url=http://loveepicentre.com/]law post dating check[/url] divorced dad kids and dating

Anonymous said...

I'm really enjoying the theme/design of your web site. Do you ever run into any browser compatibility problems? A handful of my blog visitors have complained about my website not working correctly in Explorer but looks great in Chrome. Do you have any solutions to help fix this problem?
My webpage :: experience clear skin

Anonymous said...

Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied
on the video to make your point. You obviously know
what youre talking about, why waste your intelligence on just posting videos to your blog when you
could be giving us something informative to read?
Also see my site > acne free treatments

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.payloansonline.com]cash advance loans[/url]
This is the best way to get all your health products online like green coffee, african mango, phen375 and others. Visit now

[url=http://www.articlesbase.com/mens-health-articles/hgh-energizer-review-a-personal-experience-using-hgh-energizer-to-reverse-aging-symptoms-6245818.html]HGH Energizer Reviews[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://garciniacambogiaselectz.weebly.com]
garcinia cambogia plant[/url] is the superior fat blazing wrest present in vend now a days. Lose upto 10 kg in 1 month. garcinia cambogia select

Anonymous said...

free ebook wuthering heights http://audiobooksworld.co.uk/it/Z-Yu/m135368/ waterstones ebook [url=http://audiobooksworld.co.uk/Richard-W-Ojakangas/m107281/]elves of cintra mobipocket ebook[/url] the furies ebook
[url=http://audiobooksworld.co.uk/J-M-Poate/m54374/][img]http://audiobooksworld.co.uk/image/6.gif[/img][/url]

Anonymous said...

adobe macintosh software http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/product-36887/PremiumSoft-Navicat-Premium-Enterprise-Edition-10-0 password management and form filling software [url=http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/product-37264/SWiSH-Video-2-2]garmin 250 nuvi software[/url] what is touchworks software
[url=http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/product-37115/Eltima-SWF-Video-Converter-3-5]Eltima SWF Video Converter 3.5 - Software Store[/url] parsons membership plus church software
[url=http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/es/product-37363/Video-Convert-Master-8-0][img]http://buyoem.co.uk/image/5.gif[/img][/url]

Anonymous said...

http://www.msn.com/ - [url=http://www.msn.com/]msn[/url] msn
msn

Anonymous said...

[url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/epivir.htm][img]http://onlinemedistore.com/3.jpg[/img][/url]
pharmacy coupon http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/diflucan.htm albertsons pharmacy durango colorado [url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/nolvadex.htm]codeine syrup pharmacy[/url]
novo fine 30 needles from pharmacy http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/prednisolone.htm powerpoint presentations clinical pharmacy [url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/ilosone.htm]ilosone[/url]
find best local pharmacy prices http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/categories/female-enhancement.htm short term projects for pharmacy graduates [url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/betnovate.htm]remote pharmacy new york[/url]
xanax usa pharmacy fedex http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/pepcid.htm morris pharmacy philadelphia pa [url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/clomid.htm]clomid[/url]

Anonymous said...

christian teen dating advice http://loveepicentre.com/ local free dating sites
local dating action [url=http://loveepicentre.com/advice/]aimons london dating site[/url] cathloic dating website
explicit dating sims [url=http://loveepicentre.com/advice/]dating wierd people[/url] gya dating [url=http://loveepicentre.com/user/monyen/]monyen[/url] dating service for cancer patients